My virtual wife!

I had just downloaded Microsoft’s new product Virtual Wife 3.0 which was the latest blockbuster from the house of Microsoft. The price? It depends upon the characteristics of the virtual wife you want. I chose the highest priced Aiswarya Roy model for $50.

My viwi soon became a great hit at the weekend parties. Aisu stole the eyes and hearts of the entire crowd. She sported the same cute girl she played in the movie “Taal”

“Aisu! Meet my friend Mr.Kuppuswamy who is my colleague in the latest project.”

Aisu was programmed to respond perfectly to such a situation. She pulled out her tender hands to shake my friend’s hand with diplomatic perfection.

“Pleased to meet you dear! It is so nice to be with you. Shall I bring some coffee for you?”
My friend almost swooned on being greeted by such a celluloid beauty. She was all smiles to receive all the guests with elegant candour and maintained perfect decorum at the party. I twittered Microsoft that the product worked out 100% and they got a spot order for 40 viwies before the party came to an end.

My viwi was a great cook. ( I paid a bonus $5 for this add on facility) Whether you want the Andra type fried brinjals or the chicken 65 with a mix of mutton 85, you name it and it will be ready on your dining table within the next 30 minutes. As soon as you have finished your meal, she will be ready with a napkin and a half smile. Sure it was Heaven!

She had the voice of Lata Mangeshkar and A.R.Rahman had already called on me twice to allow her to sing in his new album for a Hollywood project. But I allowed her to sing only “Jana gana mana” in functions to revive the sagging national integration and boost my personal graph. She was also allowed to sing in the bathroom to drive out all adamant cockroaches hiding inside.

Her poise manners with her in laws won many laurels. She dutifully collected their clothes, washed and pressed them neatly and put them inside the shelves. She took care of their nagging children and lulled them to sleep with tales of Harichandra and Ramayana. She went pooja mode on every Friday and she accompanied them to the Amman temple with her sari covering her head and a kumkum on the centre partition of her hair.

I had just received the latest update from Microsoft which gave you the option of training your wife to contest the next parliamentary election when suddenly my viwi turned red in anger mode. She showered on me the choicest epithets from the worst slums of north Chennai. I was totally confused wondering what had gone wrong. As I had a little bit knowledge of MySql, I checked with the database of the program and to my horror I found out that somebody had cracked the code and hacked my viwi!
18/07/2009